she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
