I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
