someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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