imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize
