so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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