My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
