I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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