there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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