You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
