I wish I could punch you in the face.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize