i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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