i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
