So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
