As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize