I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
