i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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