in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
