just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
