I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
