I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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