He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
