How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize