5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize