my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
