Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
