yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
