dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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