:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
