if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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