let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
