I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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