I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
