i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize