like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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