there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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