Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
