Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
