Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Come on in and take your pants off
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