that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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