hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
