Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize