She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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