so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
