Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
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