Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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