Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
