He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
