Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
