brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
