Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
