dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
