Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
