So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So squirting runs in the family.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
