ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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