But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just found puke in my bra..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize