Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize