if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
