you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
