dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
