guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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