He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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