The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize