I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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