How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
