Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Enjoy the penises
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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