So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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