accomplished twins. life is a go
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
