Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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