i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
