Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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