i just wanna soil my oats bro
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
