i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
