found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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