he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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