a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
