five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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