I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
